For a big chunk of our adult lives, many of us grapple with the thought that being single equates to constantly trying to look for our “better half”. A half that is missing and that innately means we’re part of an incomplete puzzle.

With little to no positive examples of stable and happy singletons within the media realm, we’re forced to believe that a fulfilled life and genuine happiness are only possible through the fairytales sold by Hollywood romcoms and reality TV shows. The question then is what should singletons expect if life is an ongoing battle against the strict norms that society is trying to shove down our throats and their threats of eternal doom and loneliness if we reject them.

As a single, child-free African woman in her early thirties, I’ve developed a sort of inner filter that drowns out the persistent hum of questions and unsolicited advice about my dating life. From remarks like, “You’re too beautiful to be still single!” to the ever-present “Where’s the hubby and the baby?” or the probing “Why aren’t you out there looking?”, these words, though sometimes unintentional, seep from the mouths of friends and family who seem to be keeping close tabs on my choices, all under the guise of concern.