I’m never going to be in a relationship again,” I joked with my best friend Arbrie over the phone.

This was the crux of the conversation I had with her at the end of my last relationship. No, I was not heartbroken, or bitter, but instead I felt this massive wave of relief from no longer being in a relationship.

This was the best relationship I had been in, with a man I thought I was going to be with forever. But even my frantic journaling brought out more questions than solutions. Maybe he wasn’t right for me? Maybe I just fell out of love with him? What if I was never actually in love with him? Perhaps it wasn’t enough to be loved by him, but it would be with someone else?