On August 19th 2023, I was about five minutes from deciding to stay in and not attend Black Ballad’s Brunch Tour event that had arrived in Manchester. 

I’d had a difficult, lonely summer and was at rock bottom after a miserable solo birthday trip to Lisbon that, I’ll be honest, looked better on my Instagram feed than it was in real life. So attending an event alone felt like such an enormous pressure. 

After seeking counselling post-trip, I was desperate to feel better and find joy. I knew in my gut that the Black Ballad Brunch could be a turning point for me; putting myself in a room full of other black women, who I could bond with, where I might finally be able to connect with the most authentic version of myself. 

Who knew that the women I would meet that day had also been facing the same doubts at the exact same moment – and almost hadn’t attended as well. Since that day we’ve often spoken of “fate” and remembered how the stars truly aligned for us all to connect.

It’s almost two years later and we achieved what some might say the impossible: the girls trip made it out of the group chat and we travelled to Amsterdam to see Usher on his recent Past, Present, Future tour. 

For someone whose female friendships have stumbled plenty since school, I had accepted that I wasn’t someone who would have a “girl group”. More commonly as a millennial, I had standalone friends; the ones that I’d made in the cities I moved to, the jobs I worked at, and the close pals I met at university who I’ve watched now start families.

I am content with my own company, but as I reached my mid-30s, I wanted to expand my circle and create new memories. I’d read plenty of articles from others asking “is it really possible to make friends as an adult?”

Well dear reader, I’m proof that the answer is yes. What made it infinitely easier was the fact we all have one strong thing in common – a love for music, more specifically Beyoncé. We all quickly found out our love for her and for live music, so our main goal has been to seek enjoyment singing our hearts out ever since. 

That’s what gave us the confidence to buy tickets to Usher back in February 2024 and over a year later we were there in the stands enjoying his sweaty, sultry and downright saucy performance. It was an incredible evening in Amsterdam, and we even snuck in a stop off in Paris on the way back to the UK. A week away, and two cities in one trip? That took some skillful organisation, but we pulled it off, and we were all so proud. 

When I asked Anna, 39, who is in tech and a pilates enthusiast, how she felt about our girl group, she told me as I did her nails, “I honestly believe it was fate that we met because how is everyone in our group in the Beyhive and loves travel and food as much as I do?!

“As someone with a big personality, I’ve always felt I had to dim myself to not overwhelm people around me – now I’m surrounded by the most amazing, smart, creative and stylish women. I love learning and seeing the world from their perspective. In fact, they motivate me to do and be more!”

That strikes a chord in me as well, I didn’t have an example of entrepreneurship growing up, I got my journalism degree and slowly built up a career, but after I fell out of love with the media, I turned my sights towards my hobby as a nail technician instead, with much encouragement from the women who now surround me and support me. 

Seeing other black women launch and own a business has provided never-ending inspiration. Efia, 28, the founder of BlackOwned Studios and Marketplace, was at the brunch and we’re all off to see the Cowboy Carter tour on her birthday in June. There’s Chloe, 33, who owns MORE Skincare, and Jaydene, 28, the founder of candle brand Christie x White too.

Jaydene, who joined us a few months after the brunch, told me: “It is nice to have a girl group at this age. I thought the opportunity for that was done after uni. We all have an adventurous side too and actually want to get out and do new things. Plus we show up when we say we will – that’s the biggest thing for me!”

There is indeed something grown about making friends outside of educational institutes – you’ve experienced the pettiness of school gossiping, the messiness of university and are (mostly) wiser about the type of people you want to spend your energy on. Everyone has been willing to be their most open, vulnerable and authentic selves, and it works, as Chloe says it’s a “grown-woman friendship”.

The fun we’ve had doesn’t stop at a shared love of the same music, there’s been boozy brunches, birthday celebrations, being crowded underneath a table eating grapes at New Year, games nights, karaoke, music festivals, 10k races, and many hair tales swapped along with drinking plenty of tequila. 

I also did find Joy – at 25 she’s the youngest of us all – and she told me she felt “genuine inclusion and acceptance” and the group has “taught me the invaluable lesson of consciously showing up for the relationships I cherish.” 

For me I have never felt so lucky, that I nearly didn’t attend, that I could almost have missed out on meeting some of these incredible women, this amazing group of talented business owners and entrepreneurs, women in tech and our very own Elle Woods. Beth, 29, a solicitor, told me of our group, “There’s no competition, it’s genuine friendship.”

Some of us grew up without a connection to our black culture, some of us were immersed in it, we’re all from different family backgrounds, different countries, but we all get to learn something valuable from each other.

Header image: all the friends together on New Year's Eve