Once in a while, in little pockets of the internet, a bone-tired parent will seek solace from online parenting forums wishing to connect with others who can relate and affirm their struggles. Parents never want to admit an ugly truth for fear of judgment, but sometimes we just don’t like our children. 

Such was Anotida’s experience.

“I know this is going to sound terrible [and] I hated myself for a long time for harbouring these emotions, but I did not really like my children,” she says.

Anotida’s story is all too familiar: birthing and raising three children all within seven years while living in a two-income household in Leicester and London, unable to afford around-the-clock childcare or consistently rely on relatives to help with childcare.

Anotida was not surprised about how challenging motherhood would be, but what she was not expecting was to grow out of ‘like’ with her children.

“In hindsight, it should have been very obvious when these feelings started to develop,” she says. “When my husband and I first discovered we were expecting, we were ecstatic. I had recently turned 30 and was predictably worried about my biological clock. I wanted to start trying as soon as we married, so I was over the moon when that pregnancy test came out positive.”