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The Minefield of Sexual Microaggressions

As an 18-year-old fresher, thrilled to be leaving home and convinced that on my arrival, London wouldn’t know what had hit it, I did what most freshers do when let loose in a big city - I went clubbing. I expected nothing more than a night of dancing, laughter and overpriced rum and cokes. I was hanging with a group of female friends when a guy singled me out and asked me to dance. I said ‘um, no thanks’ to his offer. As I walked away he grabbed me by the arm, demanding to know ‘why?' His shift from neutrality to aggression took me by surprise and he gave the impression that getting my arm back depended on my giving answer that suited his expectations. I should have said, ‘because I don’t want to’ but instead I caved in with a half-hearted ‘fine…’, I danced to one song, then escaped to find my friends.  

Although I was annoyed at myself for not being more assertive, I was grateful to get out of that situation with nothing worse than another tragicomic story to tell. I describe that nightclub incident as a ‘sexual microaggression’ because it was of a sexual nature and although upsetting, it was relatively minor in the spectrum of sexual abuse.