Some Black families have deeply internalised the English proverb that “children should be seen and not heard”. They consider children to have not enough experience or knowledge to be listened to and are simply meant to follow instructions. In the home, this perspective implies that having children express their thoughts and opinions can be annoying and disturb daily affairs given that children contribute little to nothing to the daily operations.

Society’s demand for absolute silence from kids, especially in public or when around adults, is high. The idea of “children should be seen and not heard” dates back to 15th Century England but the philosophy is often associated with Victorian Britain, a time when children had little to no legal rights, were often seen as property of their parents and harsh physical punishment was not only accepted, but seen as morally necessary.