As an African child, I was often told not to be ‘weak’. I was not meant to cry or feel sad no matter what happened, even if it deeply hurt my feelings. I heard comments like, ‘Why would you cry about that? It is so silly. How will you survive the world if little things like this make you cry?’
If I really think about it, the adults in my life would have rather I just moved around with no other emotion outside of happiness because being too quick to anger also meant apparently that I would not survive marriage. That’s another story for another day, but I was reprimanded for feeling my feelings to the point where I mastered the art of swallowing my tears and walking them out.
Then came adulting, where there is so much going on all at once. There is work, social life, alone time, money management, and the extra hustle to survive the cost of living crisis. Basically, all the things nobody prepared us for. Then, social media teaches us about ‘positive thinking’ and somehow that is our magical tool to get us past every single negative emotion.
But would the universe have granted us the beauty of feeling sadness if we did not need it at all in our lifetime? I think not and this is why I say so.