“I gotta put me first, Luscious.”
You’ve probably heard Cookie say this on TV drama Empire, TikTok and all over the Internet. It’s a simple statement, but wise words. Cookie is finally prioritising herself, deciding to put her oxygen mask on first before she helps someone else.
Don’t get me wrong, caring about others has and never will be a bad thing. What is bad is when you have to devalue yourself or constantly ignore your needs to do it. There is a very big difference between kindness and ‘people pleasing’.
People pleasing can reflect an internalised low self-worth. You constantly do for others, while simultaneously not doing for yourself. You please to earn love, affection, trust or respect, but in the process, you erode the love, affection, trust and respect you have for yourself.
People pleasing is a chronic, seemingly never-ending pull that makes you raise your hand first or jump into action without considering your needs at all.