Rihanna said or alluded to something recently when she spoke about the birth of her son. She said something along the lines of that meeting her son felt like a reintroduction to herself and I completely understand what she means. When you have a child, especially for the first time, you learn things about yourself for the first time and you relearn and see things in the world for the very first time because your child’s first milestones and magical moments are also your first time experiences.
One area of my life that my children, especially my daughter (my first born) re-introduced me to was my hair. While I was natural before she was born, I wasn’t just a “lazy natural”, I was a “barely touch my hair" natural. My hair was always in “protective styling” - braids, wigs, cornrows. I didn’t take the time to get to know and understand what my hair wanted or needed. Yet, when I found out I was pregnant and that I was having a girl, I made the decision that I would get to know and understand my hair. Why? Because representation starts at home.
Throw together a new baby and the pandemic, like many of you I got to know my hair pretty well. I got to know the products my hair adored and didn’t quite like as much. I learned that my hair doesn’t love being in single plaits as much as I would like it to be and I perfected a washday routine that takes about 25 minutes instead half a day. I let go of laid edges and embraced undefined curls and coils that gave my hair both character and volume.
Yet this reintroduction to my hair and natural hair has been made complete as I have now learned how to look after my daughter’s hair. Admittedly, as a mum who can’t cornrow and avoided doing her own hair at any cost, there was a lot of doubt in mind as to if I would be able to do so, but through trial and (a little bit of) error, I have mastered age appropriate hairstyles for my daughter and washing, conditioning and styling her hair is a reminder of how beautiful black hair is.
Beyond my daughter reintroducing me to my hair and my love of it in its natural state, to have that one on one time, where I wash and condition her hair with Wakati’s Activated Advanced Conditioner, which I am currently in love with and moisturise it with Wakati’s Oil Infused Moisturiser nearly every Saturday morning has become a space of bonding and ritual. That tradition of doing our child’s hair while soaking in their personality, having chats and affirming them is priceless. It is priceless and as a mum of a toddler whose patience is hit or miss like most two year olds, thank God detangling is a relatively easy job thanks to Wakati’s conditioner.
The truth is we are often indebted to our children. We get to experience the world through a second, third or fourth (depending on how many kids you have) time. I am grateful that my daughter has helped me fall in love once again with my hair, yes, afro hair can be time consuming, but experimenting and feeling the coils beneath your finger tips as I wash, condition and style reminds me how unique our beauty truly is. And I feel grateful to be able to carry on that age old tradition of doing my daughter’s hair and making her see the beauty in it.
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Tobi Oredein
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