This year, my 35th, has been about living with more intention. Not just moving between work and motherhood, but making space to do things I haven’t done before. And last month, I did something for the first time: I travelled solo.
So often, the world can deter black women from travelling alone – but this two-day trip to Copenhagen was a restorative experience, and I feel incredibly grateful for it. Waking up in a beautiful, Wes Anderson-inspired room at the 25hours Hotel Indre By, with no alarm clock, no agenda, and no one to consider but myself, felt almost radical. The colours were bold, the décor was playful yet intentional – it was the kind of space that invites you to slow down and notice things.
That idea of slowing down stayed with me as I wandered the streets of Copenhagen with SZA as my soundtrack. Getting lost in the city reminded me of the joy that new places can bring – how they invite us to notice beauty, to explore, and to step outside of routine. Eating alone, hopping on the metro, and chatting with strangers (Denmark is the second-happiest country in the world, after Finland) reminded me that it’s okay when plans don’t make it out of the group chat.
I’ve seen countless social posts with groups of women saying we finally made it out of the group chat, and while I love that energy, the truth is, as our lives become busier, some meals, experiences and holidays will always stay in the group chat. Sometimes, as women, we just need to go – to experience the beautiful, unrehearsed and spontaneous moments life can offer.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t treasure the peace and quiet – reading in coffee shops, curling up with a book before bed in my hotel room – while simultaneously missing the beautiful chaos of my kids and husband who make our place home. Yet what felt most precious was getting a tiny glimpse into the diaspora in Copenhagen – the similarities and the differences. An auntie came running out of a hair salon asking if I wanted to do my hair, and gave me a gentle smile when I said, “No, thank you.” I jumped on the metro to visit Isangs, a Black-owned beauty shop where founder Sundra Essien hand-makes organic, vegan hair and body products. It was beautiful to be in a space away from home owned by a black woman who clearly is on a mission to make beauty safer for everyone including us, illustrating the common thread that motivates black female beauty entrepreneurs to start their business, but continue when things may not be as easy.
I got to dine at one of the few black owned restaurants in Copenhagen- SASAA. The restaurant provides a vibrant African dining experience, with African art on the walls and a menu that leans into an eclectic and varied Pan African experience and isn’t dominated by the West African food influences like Nigeria and Ghana that often dominate the London dining experience.
As my two days in Copenhagen came to a close and I wheeled my suitcase out of the 25 Hours Hotel Indre By, I asked myself, why the hell did it take me 35 years to hop on a plane, stay in a beautiful hotel and explore a new city by myself? In conversation the usual excuses came up: work, kids, family, money. But as black women we owe it to ourselves to explore the world, because it can help us revisit ourselves. And if it doesn’t do that- having some rest from the realities of our lives never hurt anyone.
Three things I’d definitely do again in Copenhagen
Stay: The 25hours Hotel Indre By – outdoor sauna, gorgeous gym, cosy reading room, quiet workspace, stunning décor, and super friendly hotel staff. And it’s right in the centre of Copenhagen. Honestly, what more could you want?
Eat: Andersen & Maillard Bakery – that pistachio cube croissant? Worth every single calorie. My God.
Visit: Isangs – founded by Sundra Essien, who hand-makes every product in the shop. As more of us start thinking about how beauty impacts our health, it’s the perfect place to pick up a little something for yourself while leaning into a safer, more conscious routine.