I recall growing up feeling very loved by my parents, but not as emotionally supported. This is such a common occurrence in many families, but as we explore the impact this can have on young people and adults alike – and what we can do differently if we choose to – it is important we remember my mantra “no blame, no shame”.

Blaming and shaming can keep us stuck in generational patterns and it is far more empowering to understand why things may have been as they were. Everyone is doing the best that they can from where they are, but positive, long term changes can occur.

My parents separated in my early twenties and my dad remarried and went on to have two more children. When the eldest of my youngest siblings became a teenager, I remember my dad saying to me, “What is it with the generation of today? It’s much harder than when you were a teenager, you didn’t have these same feelings.”

My dad was very shocked when I told him that I did have similar feelings, I was just too scared to voice them. I feared being reprimanded in a way that made me feel that I couldn’t and shouldn’t go ‘against’ what my parents said, nor ‘answer them back’.