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Why We Should Be Unapologetic About Being Selfish

“Why We Should Be Unapologetic About Being Selfish” was created for Black Ballad members, but Chinyere wants you to see it too. You can have access to three stories a month, including this one, by signing up for free!

“Black women are often the pillars of their community, literally, where we’re tasked with taking care of everybody in our families [and] taking care of people who are not in our families but are in our villages. And we’re often given the messaging that taking care of ourselves is selfish and that putting ourselves first takes away from the community.”

These were the words of Evette Dionne, editor-in-chief of Bitch Media, and I couldn’t agree more with her.

If we’re being honest, no one wants to be referred to as “selfish” due to the negative connotations associated with the word. These negative connotations can make some women feel the need to sacrifice their time, effort and overall well-being to cater to the needs of others. Throughout my adolescent years I would go out of my way to make sure that I was not being perceived as a selfish person, whether that be by helping out someone with a job application at my own expense or agreeing to stay extra hours at work even though I knew I didn’t have the time to do so.