In my early 20s, I thought I knew what I wanted. But in my late 20s, I’ve been startled by sudden waves of curiosity: new fantasies and new flirtations that weren’t there before.

It feels like a second adolescence, except this time, the desire is mine, not scripted by someone else. And the more I talk to other women, the more I realise I’m not alone. 

Popular culture insists that as women grow older, they become less sexual, buried under careers, families, or fatigue. But research tells another story, especially when it centers Black women. In the study ‘Living in a Paradox: How Older Single and Widowed Black Women Understand Their Sexuality’, women in their 60s and 70s reported being surprised that their sexual urges and desires remained strong well past middle age.