As a dark-skinned, fat woman born in a systemically racist environment, I’ve been a people-pleaser for as long as I can remember. That need to be liked has shaped every aspect of my life, and while I no longer bend to others’ expectations of me (thanks to some much-needed therapy), it has inevitably changed how I navigate relationships, friendships included. The most persistent challenge has been my difficulty with confrontation, especially with loved ones, and sometimes even with standing up for myself.

Inevitably, my go-to form of protection has either been riddling myself with anxiety until things improve or turning to self-preservation by walking away. And while some might be quick to relabel that as cowardice, the truth is that this “quiet quitting” journey is as protective as it is isolating, particularly in communities like ours, where sisterhood is vital for survival.