Content warning: This article discusses suicide.

In this economy, when your best friend offers to treat you to an all-you-can-eat seafood boil, you wake up singing ‘Birthday Girl’ by Lizzo. I was expecting to enjoy my birthday dinner in this restaurant that looked like we were sitting on someone’s porch in the swamps of Louisiana. It was supposed to be the first birthday where I truly felt excited about being alive. 

Turning 39 years old is monumental. You’re realising the knees you had in the ‘99-2000s are closer to Golden Girls than Meg Thee Stallion. For me personally, I had an extra bit of excitement because I was celebrating my first birthday since the attempt at ending my life in September 2019.