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The Pressure Of Being Black, Queer And Partially Out

The notion of coming out is a really nice one. You finally understand and put a name to your sexuality as a teenager and then you tell your parents and friends and just like that the burden is lifted from your shoulders. After a bit of turbulence within your family dynamic and your mum crying about “no grandkids” for a week, you’re fine! Then everyone in your life accepts you and you get to live your life happily in the shade of the LGBTQ+ umbrella.

Unfortunately, that’s just not the reality for so many black queer women and non-binary people living in the UK. I’m in my mid-20s, I don’t live at home, all my friends and colleagues know that I’m queer, yet I still haven’t told my family. For lots of us, the countries our families come from aren’t just a little hostile to queer people, but in some places it’s illegal and you can even be killed for being queer.