For many people around the world, starting a family is either already in the bag, on the horizon or on a future wish list. For me however, it’s none of the above.
From the age of 14 I knew that being pregnant and bringing a child into the world was something I didn’t aspire to. I thought I would grow out of it and become more of a "woman", but I didn't. Now aged 26 I’m even surer about my decision and you’re probably wondering why.
First of all, the petrifying thought of spending hours in excruciating labour and then experiencing a painful few weeks of recovery constantly paralyses me with a relentless fear. However, this was only a contributor and not the deciding factor. Despite billions of women having already given birth (in many cases multiple times) this doesn’t change anything for me. We are all different and that’s OK. Secondly, having witnessed and encountered a number of emotionally draining experiences through my teens and 20s, I have been unable to identify the purpose of bringing new, innocent life into the world where so many of us experience pain, loss, fear, and deflation. These regular stresses such as financial burdens and mental illness; bad relationships and low self-esteem; homelessness and physical illness; bullying and violent attacks; unhappiness at work and unemployment, are not situations I would want someone else to encounter. Yes, we can do our utmost best to provide a life of love and support for them, but it’s not something we can guarantee. And I do not believe that “everything happens for a reason”.