Black Ballad is celebrating Love Month, and each week in February Dr Michelle Nyangereka, a counselling psychologist, chartered member of The British Psychological Society (BPS) and a registered Practitioner Psychologist with the Health Care Professions Council, will be answering your relationship dilemmas. Grouped around a theme, the problems represent Black Ballad readers’ common concerns.

This week’s question:

“How do you let go of unhealthy past relationships that have ended? The relationship needed to end because it was detrimental to my wellbeing. The other person was manipulative and they would not even commit to me properly, just seeing me at their convenience. I ended it but I feel guilty but also like I shouldn’t be feeling as emotionally invested as I did because I never really “had” them in the first place. How do I let go?”

“You are the key to your healing, not time. Hurt, trauma and dense conditioning will continue sitting in your mind, impacting your emotions and behaviour, until you go inward. What heals is self-love, learning to let go, self-awareness, and building new habits.” – Yung Pueblo